The fight is over :(

For the past month and a half I have been fighting Ford to get him to nurse. He started taking a bottle when he was just over a week old with no problem, and I have been giving him a bottle at least once a day since and nursing him for all his other feedings. He was a great nurser right from the begining and I never had any problems until recently. Just over a month ago things changed. Sometimes we would nurse for a few minutes and sometimes he wouldn't do it all. I would then have to make him a bottle and then pump to keep my milk supply up.....but I wasn't willing to give up nursing him. I had planned to nurse him until he was one. Everyone just kept saying it's just phase he will get passed it, well he never did. I tried everything nursing him when he was tired, nursing in a quiet room, I even stopped eating dairy, but he had his mind made up he wanted a bottle. This is totally his personality.....stong-willed the kid knows what he wants and what he doesn't want!!! Last week he completely refused, and with a heavy heart and a lot of Mommy guilt I gave in. I could cry every time I think about it(I'm a little teary-eyed right now), but he likes taking a bottle and I am tired of fighting him. He didn't miss a beat and is happy with his bottles! I think I am sad because it feels like the first step of him growing up and not needing his Mommy anymore. I know that there will be many more phases like this, but I just didn't want it to start so soon. I can remember right after he was born and the doctor cut the umbilical cord, I felt a little sadness that we weren't connected anymore, and this feels a little like that. I am well aware that this post is for me in an effort to make myself feel less guilty, and to that the guilt I am feeling is unwarranted, but as any mom knows part of being a mom is feeling guilty. I just have to keep telling myself that I did everything I could, and in the end Ford is happy!!! Here is my sweet boy with his beloved bottle!!

........There I think I feel better already!!!!